Is everybody in your team pulling their weight?

In any organisation, we instinctively know who goes the extra mile and who just scrapes by. Some team members take initiative, anticipate needs, and step up without being asked – you can rely on them. Others contribute only when required, doing the bare minimum. Over time, this imbalance can cause frustration, inefficiency, and even resentment.

The Exchange Principle – a concept rooted in systemic coaching helps us understand why this happens and how to create a fairer, healthier balance in teams. In start-ups, scale ups and SMEs, where every individual’s contribution matters, it is helpful for leaders to actively shape an environment where give and take is clear, balanced, and sustainable.

The importance of a healthy exchange

At its core, exchange is about needs and offers. What do I need from my team? What do they need from me? What do we need from each other? When expectations are clear, collaboration strengthens, and productivity increases.

I was recently supporting an events team in the Heritage sector, where the sales team saw their events colleagues’ work as an afterthought, and the events team saw the sales team as disrespectful and not understanding their value. The problem wasn’t incompetence or power plays, it was a lack of mutual respect and clear communication. Once they all articulated what they needed from each other, collaboration improved, tensions eased, and their events ran more smoothly. They were delighted, as was their manager, as often they would be working until 2 or 3 am.

Healthy exchange isn’t about guesswork. It’s about stating needs, setting expectations, and ensuring clarity on both sides.

Defining needs and offers: the key to collaboration

When I work with boards and executive teams, understanding each of their roles is vital. It is not for the board to get stuck into Operations, their role is to support, challenge and make robust decisions about the direction of the organisation. It can help to ask the board and executive team to each articulate their needs and offers.

Using a team example, a Managing Director I was coaching once told a Service Manager, “I need your data by lunchtime on Friday so I can submit my figures on Monday.” The Service Manager used to think that 9am on Monday was acceptable, however once he understood the need for data on Friday, he agreed it was easy to do. This simple statement prevented frustration down the line. Clarity creates accountability.

Similarly, in team coaching, I encourage teams to define:

• What do we need from each other to succeed?
• What can we offer in return?

Offers often surprise people. Sometimes one team might assume they need more resources, but after some discussion, they realise they need better internal communication, something they could solve without additional hiring.

When exchange becomes imbalanced

An unhealthy exchange doesn’t just affect workflow it impacts: power dynamics, trust, and morale. One leader I worked with in an NHS steering group kept saying, “I’ll do that”, whenever a task needed completing. They believed they were helping, but in reality, they were acting as a rescuer, shouldering too much responsibility and limiting the other members’ growth.

After challenging their assumptions, they realised they weren’t delegating because they assumed others were too busy. By shifting their approach, they empowered others to take ownership, creating a healthier, more sustainable exchange.

The Drama Triangle, developed by Stephen Karpman in the 60s, illustrates how individuals often fall into the roles of rescuer, victim, or persecutor when exchange is out of balance. Leaders who rescue their teams by doing too much create dependency. Those who blame others for failures (the persecutor) erode trust. And those who feel powerless (the victim) disengage from their work. Healthy exchange removes these dysfunctions and creates equilibrium instead.

The cost of poor exchange in SMEs

For start-ups, scale ups and SMEs, misaligned expectations can have direct – and sometimes dire – financial consequences, as well as imbalanced culture.

I recently worked with a company that had been repeatedly sacking employees within six months of hiring them. The reason? They had a clear vision for what they wanted, but never actually communicated it to the people they hired. Employees were given no structured onboarding and no opportunities for regular feedback. The leaders just assumed, “They’ve got PhDs, they should know what to do.”

This lack of clear exchange wasted time and resources. We worked on the need for implementing agile one-to-ones and ongoing feedback (both of which are exchanges of information), they saw an immediate improvement in employee retention and performance.

Healthy exchange in everyday leadership

Healthy exchange isn’t just about work, it also applies to mentoring, business relationships, and contracts. A long time ago, one of my team members shadowed a CEO of a local charity for a day, hoping to learn from their experience. The CEO was generous with their time – introducing them to key people, explaining processes, even buying them lunch – but my team member left feeling disappointed.

Why? Because they hadn’t communicated their needs in advance. Had they said, “I’ve got lots of questions…here are my top five. Can you help me with these?” the day would have been far more valuable. And I learned this early on. In my family the saying was “Nothing ventured, nothing gained” and we never took umbrage with the response. This helped me develop the ability to accept nos and boundaries.

We must remember that exchange is a two-way process. Clarity benefits everyone.

How to build a culture of healthy exchange in your organisation

Creating a culture of healthy exchange starts with clarity and transparency. It is helpful for every role, task, and project to have well-defined expectations. We never assume people just “know” what’s required. When leaders and team members actively communicate needs and offers, and check in regularly to ensure alignment, things go more smoothly. Delegation is key: stepping back allows others to grow and contribute meaningfully. When feedback is a consistent practice, not an afterthought, it enables teams to stay engaged and on track.

And whether hiring, contracting, or working pro bono, clearly defining terms upfront prevents misalignment and frustration, making exchange fair, open, and productive for all.

Final thoughts…

In business, as in life, healthy exchange fosters trust, efficiency, and growth. Whether it’s clear delegation, structured feedback, or simply asking, “What do you need from me?” leaders who master the art of exchange build stronger teams and better businesses.

If you want to embed healthy exchange in your organisation, let’s talk. Book a call today and start creating a more balanced, productive team dynamic.