Who do you want to be as a leader?
Being a leader is not just about what you do; it’s about who you are. It’s about the choices you make in how you show up, how you communicate, and the impact you leave behind. But before you can lead others, you need to know the answer to a vital question: Who do you want to be as a leader?
Let me tell you a little story…
The blunt truth
During the first ten years of my life here in the UK, people often told me I was blunt. “Diane, your phone message was a bit blunt”, they’d say. Or at my book club, someone would chime in, “That was a bit blunt, wasn’t it?” At first, I thought it was a cultural clash – that these British people just didn’t get me. Surely, it was their problem, not mine?
I wasn’t trying to be blunt. I was just being clear! Or so I thought. It took me a while to realise that the feedback I was receiving wasn’t a reflection of their sensitivities, but rather, a reflection of how I was being perceived.
I had to make a choice: if I wanted to be received as clear and not blunt, I needed to adjust how I communicated. That meant slowing down, using softer tones, and choosing gentler words.
It wasn’t easy – stepping out of your comfort zone never is – but it was absolutely necessary. And it made all the difference.
As a leader, you have choices, too. And those choices define how others see you, how you lead, and ultimately, the impact you make.
Who do you want to be?
In my coaching and facilitation work, I often ask leaders two critical questions:
- Who do you want to be as a leader?
- What impact do you want to make?
It matters that you have clarity on both. Being clear about how you want to show up, how you want to be remembered, and the influence you want to have is the bedrock of authentic leadership.
But what many leaders don’t realise is that they have a choice in how they’re perceived. Just as I had to choose how to present myself to avoid being seen as “blunt,” you too can make conscious choices about your leadership presence.
Introducing the Choice Impact Model
Think of leadership as a series of choices. How you act, how you speak, and even how you listen – each decision shapes your leadership impact. The Choice Impact Model helps leaders identify the actions they can take to align their desired impact with how they are perceived.
As you grow into these sometimes uncomfortable choices – like me learning to soften my approach – you’ll find yourself developing new strengths. What starts as awkward eventually becomes part of who you are as a leader.
Strengths aren’t accidents
Let’s talk about strengths. One of mine is warmth. I smile at strangers on the train and say hello – sometimes it’s even led to surprising connections, like the time it landed me one of my biggest projects yet!
Another strength is risk-taking. I’ve never been afraid to ask tough questions, both as a coach and as a facilitator. (And yes, swinging from a trapeze off the side of a catamaran is also one of my more adventurous “strengths”.)
But where do these strengths come from? For me, it goes back to my childhood in Plettenberg Bay, South Africa. My dad taught me to body surf, which involves calculating which wave to catch. It’s a little scary, but oh, so thrilling. That’s how I approach risk-taking in my professional life, too. I calculate the wave – whether it’s naming the elephant in the room or asking the uncomfortable but necessary questions.
What about you? What are your strengths? Where do they come from, and how do they show up in your leadership?
Leadership isn’t about perfection
Every leader has their own challenge or weakness – something they’d like to improve. Maybe you’ve been told you’re indecisive and you want to be perceived as more confident. Or perhaps people see you as distracted, and you’d like to work on being more focused.
Here’s where the Choice Impact Model comes into play again. You have the power to choose how you show up, even in areas where you feel less strong. Sure, some might call it “mask-wearing”, but I see it differently: it’s about being courageous. It’s about showing up differently to achieve the impact you want.
Having the courage to grow
Leadership growth takes courage. It takes asking for help and getting detailed feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s why, when I start coaching leaders, we often use 360-degree feedback. Gathering insights from different teams, industries, and perspectives is invaluable.
When you capture this data and reflect on it, you can build a picture of the kind of leader you want to become. And, actually, sometimes, it’s easier to spot our weaknesses in others. But here’s the truth: it’s the courageous leader who acknowledges their weaknesses and chooses to work on them.
We all want to keep growing our strengths. However, the real leadership growth happens when we also focus on improving our challenges. Because that’s where the real transformation happens.
So, who do YOU want to be?
The answer to this question isn’t set in stone, it’s fluid, just like you. It changes as you grow, learn, and adapt to new challenges. But the more you consciously choose how to show up as a leader, the more impactful and intentional you’ll become.
Maya Angelou said it best: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” That’s the legacy of true leadership.
Are you ready to take the next step in your leadership journey? Join our taster session in early 2025 and be the first to experience how who you choose to be can shape the leader you become. Join the waitlist today.
